l LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD, BUT...
QUIZ FOR TEENAGERS
Copyright 2003
This questionnaire was prepared by the staff at
Hawk Mountain Press and distributed through
www.parenting-teenagers-today.com. The information gathered here
will be used as research for a new book called, I Love You, Mom
and Dad, but… What teens think parents need to know about adolescence.”
We here at
www.parenting-teenagers-today.com are committed to seeing parents
and teens develop lifelong relationships that are both loving and
friendly. Please have your teen or any teens you know take this test
and then return it to us via FAX (206-666-HAWK), as an email (put an "X"
beside multiple choice answers), or through the U.S. mail to Hawk
Mountain Press, 130 Glenview Avenue, Wyncote, PA 19095.
1. What is the #1 complaint you have about your
parent(s)?
a) They don’t trust me.
b) They yell at me and make me feel
dumb; they don’t respect me.
c) They don’t like my friends.
d) They think I’m a bad kid when I’m
just like everyone else.
e) They treat me like I’m still 10
years old.
f) I can’t trust them.
g) Other:
2. What is the #1 thing you’d like to change about
the way your parent(s) treat you?
a) I want them to accept me for the way
I am, not the way they want me to be.
b) They should treat me as
their equal, not a know-nothing kid whose opinion doesn’t count.
c) I want them to stop
criticizing me, calling me names, and always harping on the mistakes I
make.
d) I want them to
acknowledge me and see the positive things I do.
e) I want them stay out of my affairs,
give me some space, and stop nagging me.
f) Other:
3. What causes the most fights and upsets between
you and your parent(s)?
a) when I talk back to them or
disrespect them
b) when they act overprotective and
don’t let me do things my friends can do
c) when I break curfew or ignore what
they say I have to do
d) when I disappoint them
by not doing well in school or at sports or something else they think is
important.
e) when they embarrass me
in front of my friends
f) when they criticize me
too much or unfairly
g) other:
4. When do you get along best with your parent(s)?
a) when I do something
they are proud of—like win an award, do well in school, play a sport
well
b) when we do something
together that we all like and no one has something better to do
c) After a family meeting
or counseling, when we are all trying to get along
d) playing a game, sports,
vacationing together
e) never
f) other:
5. If your parent(s) sat and really listened to you
without any threat of punishment or judgment, what would they learn
about you and your life that they don’t know now?
a) that I have a life of my own
b) that I’m a good friend and give good
advice
c) that I’m not stupid and I’ll ask for
advice when I need it
d) that I’m a teenager and I have to
handle my own problems whenever possible
e) that I am responsible and doing the
best I can most of the time
f) other:
6. What do you think is the #1 complaint your
parent(s) have about you?
a) that I don’t do my share around the
house
b) that I’m lazy and
irresponsible (don’t do my homework, clean up my room, etc.)
c) that I mouth off at
them and don’t respect them
d) that my friends are a
bad influence on me
e) that I’m moody and
don’t want to talk to them or take their advice
f) that all I want to do
is party and don’t take life seriously enough
g) other:
7. What is the #1 thing your parent(s) would like
to change about the way you treat them?
a) They want me to do what
they say and not argue with them.
b) They want me to treat
them respectfully and stop yelling at them and saying hurtful things.
c) They want me to stop
criticizing them and appreciate the positive things they do for me.
d) They want me to trust
them by talking to them about my feelings and what’s going on in my
life.
e) other:
8. Why do you think your parents get mad at you?
a) because I’m not perfect and I don’t
meet their high standards
b) because I refuse to do what they
tell me to
c) because I mouth off at them and
don’t treat them with respect
d) because they’re afraid for me and
worry about me when I take risks
e) because they’re stressed out about
work and have to take it out on someone
f) other:
9. Do you talk to your parents about:
-
Sex
yes no
-
Drugs, parties, alcohol
yes no
-
Peer pressure yes no
-
School problems yes no
Why? Why not?
10. Do you trust and respect your parents? Is so,
why? If not, why not?
11. Name three ways you see that you can improve
your relationship with your parents.
1.
2.
3.
12. Name three ways your parents can improve their
relationship with you.
1.
2.
3.
13. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how
important is it to you to have a good relationship with your parents?
Why?
14. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how do
you rank your relationship with your parents right now?
15. What are some of the high-risk behaviors you
have personally been involved with:
a) Taking drugs (please specify which)
b) Riding in cars at fast
speeds
c) Driving with someone who is under the influence of either alcohol or
drugs
(please specify)
d) Taking physical risks
such as diving off high cliffs, leaning out of moving cars, lying down
on highways, etc. (Please specify)
e) Drinking to the point of blacking out
f) Other:
If you have any comments about your experience
taking this test (e.g. you saw something you could do to make things
better at home) please let us know in the space below. Thanks for
taking the time to take our quiz. If you leave us your email address,
we’ll send you an announcement of the publication of the book in the
near future.
______________________________________________________________________
The form below must be filled out for
identification purposes to assure the authors that a teenager ages 13-19
completed this questionnaire. We guarantee that this information is for
verification purposes only and will not be sold, lent, or distributed in
any way.
Full Name of Teen:
Age: Grade:
School Attending (or attended) and year of
graduation:
City and State of school:
Phone number of school:
Email of teen:
For further information on the project, call the
Hawk Mountain offices at 215-885-4437.
Thank you,
Abby Lederman, M.Ed.
P.S. If you
are a teen and would like to be interviewed for the book,
please e-mail me your family phone number at
abby@parentingteenstoday.com. In this case, if you are under 18,
you will need to have your parents fill out a parental permission form.
